Portrayals of Love in Media
Words by Alex Arrigotti
‘What is love?’ Haddaway sings quite a catchy lyric in his famous 1993 song of the same name. Now, of course, Haddaway is asking this question and following it up with the plea ‘Baby don’t hurt me’, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he is asking quite an important question. When it comes to perceptions of love, it’s common for people to think of love in the romantic sense. After all, our society seems to revolve around the practice of romance: countless ballads declaring love on the top charts, dating apps, we even have an entire holiday that traditionally revolves around romantic love. In such a romance-saturated culture, it can be easy to forget that there are other forms of love. Thousands of years ago, the ancient Greeks made the distinction between several different forms of love, giving specific words to each. While there are plenty of nuances and subcategories of these types of love, and plenty that I’ve elected not to mention, there are five primary types: agape, eros, philia, storge, and philautia. Each of these, though some are more popularly represented than others, can be found in all sorts of art and media across time and cultures.
Agape (ἀγάπη, agápē)
Literally translating to ‘affection’, this type of love refers to a general sort of love or fondness for others. In Christian traditions, it is sometimes taken to mean ‘the love of God for human beings and human beings for God’. Agape typically has sacrificial connotations, and is viewed in certain circles as the highest form of love one can express or feel.
Where is it in media?: Christopher Marlowe’s 17th century tragedy Doctor Faustus tells the story of a religious scholar who makes a deal with a devil in exchange for the ability to harness and perform magic. Throughout the play, titular character Faustus grapples with his faith and his desire. Should he take this deal to gain a power that would help him in his acquisition of knowledge? Or should he remain faithful to his love for his god? It is his commitment to the Christian God that causes him to second-guess his decision nearly every step of the way, his love for his saviour that he calls upon in his final moments. Ultimately, though, it is not clear whether this love was enough to save him from damnation, and admittedly, this is a rather jarring portrayal of flawed agape.
Eros (ἔρως, érōs)
Eros typically translates to ‘love, mostly of the sexual passion’, or ‘intimate love’. This, as mentioned above, is the type of love that saturates modern culture. While it does rely primarily on a sexual aspect, it is generally agreed that eros can also refer to romantic love, or love without a sexual component.
Where is it in media?: Examples of eros can be found nearly everywhere across media, from film to books to music and more. However, painters in particular seem to be especially enraptured by the subject. Franceso Hayesz’s 1859 painting Il bacio strikes a heart wrenching picture, with many purporting that the story the painting tells is of a young soldier who is heading off to war, when his lover rushes to him to kiss him goodbye. Its colours and composition are immediately arresting, and the passion and intimacy are clear from the way the lovers grasp onto each other, holding each other as closely as possible.
Hayez’s Il Bacio, 1859
Philia (φιλία, philía)
Philia is taken to mean ‘affectionate regard, friendship,’ with an emphasis on equality between those involved. This type of love is slightly more personal than agape, and can often entail loyalty and familiarity. Some philosophers revere philia the most, particularly when it is applied to not only friends, but to community as well.
Where is it in media?: Phoebe Bridgers, Julien Baker, and Lucy Dacus came together to form supergroup boygenius in 2018, with their first album releasing in 2023, featuring the song ‘True Blue’. Although fans online like to speculate exactly what sort of love is being expressed in the song (and others on the album), it is clear that there is an undying loyalty in the singer to their subject. Even when operating under the assumption that this is a song about friendship and nothing more, it speaks volumes to the amount of philia one can feel when they ‘can’t hide from you / like [they] hide from [themself]’.
Album cover of ‘The Record’ (2023)
Storge (στοργή, storgē)
Familial love is something that is emphasised nearly as much as romantic love. When you express love for your parents, or your siblings, or an aunt or uncle, whomever it may be, you are expressing storge. This word for love is typically used to refer especially to the love expressed between a parent and a child.
Where is it in media?: In January of 2021, Jorge Rivera-Herrans uploaded a video to TikTok of a song snippet he wrote as part of a larger musical project based on Homer’s Odyssey. Since then, the project, known as EPIC: The Musical, has blown up on social media. In the much anticipated tenth and final saga, The Ithaca Saga, Odysseus finally returns to his home of Ithaca, and is reunited with his family. Most notably, in a tear-jerking song titled ‘I Can’t Help But Wonder’, Odysseus (played by Rivera-Herrans) and son Telemachus (played by s MICO) see each other for the first time in twenty years. The entirety of Odysseus’ journey, he has worked hard to return, concerned for his beloved wife and for his newborn son. In this moment of reunion, Odysseus finds himself speechless, despite how often he’s dreamed of this moment. ‘All this time I’ve wondered,’ he sings, ‘if you’d embrace me as your own.’ Despite 20 years of time and countless miles of distance, it seems that nothing can hinder this love a wandering father has for his son.
Philautia (φιλαυτία, philautía)
In recent decades, there has been an emphasis on a ‘self-love’ movement, and that is precisely what philautia refers to: to love oneself or hold oneself in high regard. Interestingly, this is the only one of the five that also contains a flip side. Self-love in excess, they warned, was a moral flaw, and clearly something to be wary of.
Where is it in media?: It may be a bit cheeky of me to slip my favourite movie of all time into this list, but can you blame me? Dead Poet’s Society (1989) follows the story of a group of teenage schoolboys at a private academy in the Northeast US, and their escapades when a new English teacher takes over their class. Although this movie also features darker undertones regarding familial expectations and mental health, at the heart of the movie lies the journey toward self-confidence and self-love. Mr. Keating teaches the boys to ‘seize the day’, and what results for young Todd Anderson is a shift into being comfortable in his own skin, and learning to love himself and his newfound confidence.
Mr Keating watches Todd improvise a poem in class, Dead Poet’s Society (1989)
(Note: All quoted definitions from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love)
